Changing the way you think in order to improve the way you feel, forms the basis of cognitive approaches to mental-wellbeing. Cognitive therapies recognise that our thoughts can “colour” our experience of the outside world. Depressed people (i.e. people with depressed or depressing thoughts!) experience the world differently to others. They see colours less vividly, food can seem tasteless and unpleasant, and harmless everyday situations can appear threatening. They predict bad consequences from actions and events where others see only benefit. A depressed persons world is very different to a happy person’s, but to an observer they will seem one and the same.
Cognitive therapy and related approaches such as NLP (neuro-linguistic-programming) are very effective at helping people recognise the thinking habits behind problems such as depression, anxiety, panic disorders and phobias. There are many cognitive techniques for challenging negative thinking patterns and developing new more adaptive ways of thinking. If you are considering cognitive therapy, expect to commit to homework tasks and regular practise of these techniques.
Negative thoughts are usually fairly easily identifiable with the help of a therapist. In order to bring about a more global change, it’s often necessary to go beyond the thoughts we have to the deeper levels of our cognition - our beliefs.
Have you ever taken the time to stop and think about your beliefs, how and where they originate from, how they guide your life, whether they serve you? Most of the clients I work with would answer ‘no’ to this question. That’s because our beliefs have often been with us for a very long time. Very often we develop them in childhood. For example, a child may learn that ‘dogs are dangerous’ or ‘dogs are friendly’, depending on his experiences related to dogs. As that child grows up, it is likely that he will become more flexible in his belief about dogs, able to judge individual dog for friendliness or dangerousness. This happens in most areas of our lives, as the more rigid beliefs from childhood, evolve and become more flexible as we develop.
However, this is not always the case. Sometimes negative beliefs develop due to trauma or consistent negative interactions or early life experiences. These beliefs often remain fixed in adulthood even thougt they hold the person back or negatively impact on their lives. Often they are taken as the absolute truth.
Since beliefs form the essence of your identity, holding beliefs about yourself, the world and other people that are negative and not necessarily true, can be bad news for your self-esteem. Beliefs have an influence on your emotional state and behaviour by distorting how you view the world.
Every belief you hold is basically a generalisation that you have made about the world. Generalisations are distortions. Often when a client presents with a problem, there is a distorted belief behind it. For example ‘I am worthless’ is a belief, which promotes depression.
Beliefs about the world and yourself can actually determine what happens. They are not just thoughts but effect what you focus on. We know in NLP that what you focus on your more likely to get. This is because your unconscious mind cannot understand negatives. So for example, if you focus on being un-likeable, your unconscious mind will be on the lookout for examples of people not liking you and will find various ways to bring this to your attention. Whilst this is going on, you are of course ignoring evidence that shows you are in fact liked by all sorts of people.
As a therapist, practising CBT and NLP in Hertfordshire, people often come to see me at my practice because they are having problems with limiting beliefs, e.g. “No one could find me attractive”, “I’m useless in social situations”, “I’m bad at presentations”. Of course, they are often not aware that their beliefs are the source of their unhappiness when they initially come to see me. Limiting beliefs hold people back and prevent them from doing things they want too. When we believe we cant do something our behaviour will usually confirm this. As discussed above, you will act in a way and look out for evidence to confirm your beliefs.
NLP and CBT therapy, has effective techniques for changing illogical beliefs that can allow you to experience the world through a new pair of glasses.
Karen Hastings, has a degree in Psychology and is also a Mental Health Occupational Therapist, Master NLP practitioner, and Hypnotherapist. Karen has NHS and private practice experience of using cognitive approaches to support people in overcoming a range of problems. Karen is based in Hertfordshire. For further information visit http://www.karenhastings.co.uk
